On March 13th 2011 I dropped this Sucks Arse bombshell on an unsuspecting world. The criticisms of RE5 were too much for me to bear and I just had to speak out. Trying to be tasteful about the racism arguments proved too much for me and, looking back now, perhaps I overstepped the mark, but the comment about Sheva not being “black enough” is a real comment from some board or forum somewhere on the web that I happened to stumble upon (I regret not having taken down a URL to prove this fact). The sexism arguments are similarly real, but sexism arguments in video games are commonplace so they’re not actually as surprising as I make them out to be…
Resident Evil 5, the most controversial entry in the series, is controversial for a number of reasons. There’s the Racism issue. There’s the Having-A-Partner issue. There’s the Dumb-Fucking-AI issue. There’s the Whatever-Happened-To-Zombies-And-Who-Are-These-Majini-Fucks issue. There’s the When-Did-Wesker-Become-Slightly-Gay issue. And let’s not forget the Why-Can’t-I-See-Anything-With-This-Goddamned-Minigun-Strapped-To-My-Back issue.
- Whoa – What happened to my screen?!
Well, as ever, I have an opinion on all of these issues, and I’m going to share that opinion whether you like it or not, because that’s what I do. In the paragraphs that follow, I am going to show you everything that is wrong with Resident Evil 5, how they’ve destroyed the franchise irrevocably, and why Capcom is just a bunch of big fat poo-poo heads.
ROOTS, BLOODY ROOTS
Let’s start by taking a look at the origin of the Resident Evil franchise and what made it great. It’s easy to forget, in the intervening 16 years, that the series began life with some simple, core elements: Bad graphics, terrible voice-acting, interminably dull gameplay and a story that hung together by withered strands of seaweed and snot. The driving force behind the idea was that you, as a gamer, were supposed to enjoy it for the experience and for nothing else. It was certainly not a visual or auditory treat, so something had to make it worth playing, right?
- MMmmmmmmm – Lo-Res….
Flash forward 13 years to the release of RE5 in 2009 and what have we got? A beautifully-rendered, well-acted, zombie slug-fest with intuitive controls, awesome storytelling and gameplay so compelling that you won’t put the controller down until your thumbs have atrophied and the controller has literally fallen from your feeble, desiccated hands. What the fuck? Have they taken leave of their senses?! Have they forgotten their core market? Do they not care about their fans?!
Not once in RE5 – NOT ONCE!! – does Chris claim that his partner was “almost a Sheva sandwich”. The thinly-veiled homoeroticism and clunky double-entendres are gone completely! It’s all been replaced with good dialogue between characters that are almost believable! Its one saving grace is that at least Albert Wesker is still a cardboard-cutout villain, but even he has succumbed to the whole “compelling backstory” and “good voice acting” sickness that plagues this game (a plague that I shall call the Good-, or G-Virus).
CONTROLS
What other mainstays of the original have been cast by the wayside? Well, if my memory does not deceive me (and I don’t believe it does) the controls in the original game were utterly atrocious. Back in the days before dual analog sticks, gamers were at the mercy of the D-Pad, an unsatisfying cross of wobbly plastic that taunted players with its promises of in-game control, but instead delivered a shockingly stilted and frustrating gaming experience. Just the way we liked it. It used to be nigh-on impossible to walk and turn at the same time, requiring you to walk in a straight line, then swivel on the spot before continuing in your desired direction. You know: exactly like you move in real life! Well, Capcom saw fit to dispose of these controls, which served the franchise well and nobly all the way up to Resident Evil 4, and replace them instead with a well-conceived, flexible and easy-to-use left-analog-stick control mechanism that makes maneuvering while walking an absolute breeze. Who the hell asked for that? When I’m running away from zombies, I want to be constantly frustrated and upstaged by a movement mechanism that stymies every attempt I make to escape from the horde.
Of course, to balance this problem out, they’ve made zombies that run, thereby taking away the “benefit” (if you can call it that) of a slick control mechanic. But hang on a goddamned minute! Zombies that run? What in the name of Good Fuck is that all about? I mean, I know that RE4 had the chainsaw guy in it, who was quite a nippy fellow, but I always had my suspicions that he wasn’t actually a zombie at all, but rather a grotesquely ugly man who was simply mad at the world for shunning him and forcing him to wear a paper bag over his head – a theory, you’ll notice, that side-steps the awkward issue of fast-moving zombies.
But the makers of RE5 are shifty and underhanded and have “resolved” this issue by doing away with zombies and calling the “Zombie-like Creatures” Majini, which, my in-depth knowledge of Swahili (Wikipedia) tells me, means “Wicked People”. So, at some point we’ve gone from killing zombies to just killing people who are a bit naughty. Really? Really, Capcom?
RACISM
And this segues neatly into that big issue of Racism. Yes: with a capital R. Has anybody noticed how all the people you are killing are black?! In AFRICA?!! I know – pretty horrific, isn’t it? Let’s think about this for a minute. The people at Capcom are clearly telling us that black people are bad and should be used for target practice. I mean, forget the fact that Capcom have been killing white people in videogames for the last 20 years, forget the fact that the masterminds – notably Albert Wesker and Excella Gionne, – are white people, and that they have foisted this plague upon the unwitting citizens of a small African town. The bottom line is that you’re left slaughtering black people! I know that those of you who haven’t played RE5 are now sitting there with your jaws hanging open, horrified and disgusted that such a thing can be allowed to make it to the videogame market, but I’m just telling it like it is.
Capcom have tried to balance this Racism issue by giving Chris a black partner, in the guise of Sheva Alomar, but it’s too little, too late. For a start, Sheva is only a bit black, appearing on-screen as much more coffee-colored than the majini (who, in all fairness, are looking a bit pasty after being infected with Las Plagas, which is either a new name for the virus or else a large gambling community somewhere in Nevada). Yes, despite having black parents Sheva’s just not black enough. I hasten to add that this is not, itself, a Racist comment: it’s either black or white – there can be no coffee-colored area.
SEXISM
To add further to their pathetic cries of “We’re balanced”, Capcom have played the “Sexual Equality” card, because not only is Sheva black, she’s also a woman. But this is hardly sexual equality, because she’s wearing a tight, revealing top and has lovely breasts. This is exploitation of the very worst kind. Capcom are practically crying out to bring back slavery. Not to mention the fact that not only is Sheva a woman, but many of the Majini you meet are women as well. Yes, Capcom have you gunning down poor, weak women. Misogyny incarnate. Women in this game serve two purposes: they’re either sex objects or targets of violence, and that is disgusting and should not be tolerated.
- Revealing clothes, Skin-tight Lycra, Nipples. Misogyny Incarnate.
Just to ram home this point, Capcom have even turned Jill Valentine – a classic Resident Evil character – into a blonde. A blonde who is wearing a skin-tight lycra outfit and who has been brainwashed by the Big Bad Man, Albert Wesker, and made to do his bidding, thereby reinforcing both the “Dumb Blonde” stereotype and the very core concept of Slavery. And, to make matters worse, when you first meet her you have to beat her up! Jill Valentine is both a Sex Object and a Target of Violence. It just doesn’t get any worse than that, does it? Not least because she’s a white woman. That isn’t a Racist statement either, I can assure you. No Racism here. This is a Racism-Free Zone. Really. Yes, Really.
There is so much more I could rant and rave on about with regards this game that I may even have to make a second part to this post at some point, but since I am rapidly entering the TL;DR region of blogging I think it is best to call it a day, before my gorge rises any further, escapes my body and starts to make a life for itself somewhere out in the mountains of northern China. To sum up, all I can say is that Capcom have revolted, disgusted and appalled me with Resident Evil 5 for a whole slew of different reasons: they are Racists, they are Sexists and they have ruined a once-great franchise by unnecessarily adding compelling gameplay, exquisite visuals, three-dimensional characters and a story that would make Paul W.S. Anderson shit himself from inadequacy.
All I can hope for now is that Resident Evil 6 returns to its roots by bringing back terrible voice-acting, blocky graphics, frustratingly bad controls, flat characters, appalling script, slow and tedious storytelling and a plot so thin that you can make out the individual pixels on screen at all times.
Roll on November.
The Daily Heretic 